This is maybe definitely about avocados

02 Jun

As I mentioned, bitmoji are the greatest thing since sliced bread. There’s no better way to express how you feel through texts than with a caricature of yourself carrying the ambiance of sarcasm that you might naturally show when speaking IRL (in real life). See how saavy I am? I might even be able to hold a two minute conversation with my teenager through text! 

Me: Where are you?

Teen: Upstairs

Me: IRL?

Teen: SMH

Me: Coming up, one Sandwich with Mayo and Ham! I love you, son! 🙂

Anyhow, before I can even introduce you to the realm of what #squadvocadogoals is, you have to understand that name games are of great entertainment value to my family (See The Pistachio Game). They might be the glue that keeps us from strangling each other on road trips.

There’s a new name game in town and I have cleverly named it The Avocado Game, patent pending. The rules are similar to The Pistachio Game, however, you now have a new variety of both prefixes and suffixes to tinker with.

When it came to the #squadvocadogoals, 10 names had to be transformed. Two of the names were spelled differently but both could have ended up Christacado/Kristecado so I morphed their last names instead. You’ll see…

Had my name been on the list, I’d be Marthacado. Remember that I am not responsible for foul language that results from any Name Game you decide to participate in. I highly discourage sweetening up your mom by calling her Mothercado. It may not end how you imagined. You might want to use the prefix instead: Avomama. A couple prefix morph options include:

Cassandra – Avosandra, if she doesn’t prefer Cassacado

If my name was Ricardo, I’d prefer Avocardo over Ricarcado.
Use of these Avocado names may require a specific skill set:

Preston (if you’re a magician)

Ann (if you’re a snake handler)

Stockton (if you’re a skilled fencer)

And of course be considerate of specific names:

Ava (because it’s probably a joke she’s never heard before…)

Before you can find out why The Avocado Game is soooooo important to #squadvocadogoals, go forth and practice the game.

In the mean time, I’m going to put avocados on my son’s SMH and then start writing about where the #squadvocadogoals originated.



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Posted by on June 2, 2017 in Uncategorized


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