There’s a new game that I must speak of! Well, it’s not that new. To be honest, I invented it. This makes it so easy to speak of.
In my family (the only people who have ever played it), we call it the Pistachio game. Apparently, I’ve been spelling Pistachio wrong in my head my whole life.
If you have travelled this summer, don’t be mad that you missed out on it. If you have yet to set off on a long adventure, this is a fantastic new game. Don’t forget about it! Although it will likely only be fun once with the same people, it may arise and even mutate at another point in time.
The Pistachio game is simple, requires zero game pieces (and therefore no purchase), and requires some phonics knowledge and sometimes phonics disregard. The more people you know who were born in the 90’s, the more fun this can be.
It goes as so: Choose a name. Starting with someone in your presence is pretty common. Don’t pick the most easily offended until that person is obviously enjoying the game. You simply take the first syllable of a person’s name and add on to it the end of the word Pistachio. Now, say their new name with natural fluency.
For example: If my friend’s name is Bella, I announce to her that her name would now be Bel-achio. Pronounced: Bell-ash-ee-oh.
Doesn’t sound that great, does it?
However, it’s awesome if you know a kid named Jordan! Jordachio! Pronounced: Jor-dash-ee-oh!
Some names have multiple options. If my dog’s name is Eli (which it is), I can choose to call him Eliachio or Eachio. Pronounced: Ee-ly-ash-ee-oh or Ee-ash-ee-oh.
Don’t be silly and say that it should be pronounced Each-ee-oh. That’s how mutations of the game get started. Then, if it’s not funny, blame yourself.
Once you have gone through everyone present, start to think of people you know and love and morph their names! Once you run out of all the people you know and love, think of all the people who you’d love to call by their Pistachio names to their face. Mr. Bossachio! (Note: adding formal titles before Pistachio names is A- o.k.!)
Once you’ve gone through everyone you know. Start thinking of names of people you wish you knew.
I’ve yet to meet someone named Susan. I would call her Susachio. Pronounced: Sooz-ash-ee-oh.
or What if we knew a guy named Buster? He would certainly let us call him Bustachio! Pronounced: Bust-ash-ee-oh.
or How about Mr. D? We would call him Mr. Dachio! Pronounced: Miss-tur-dash-ee-oh. If you said Miss-TURD-ash-ee-oh, you may be entering a mutation game. Watch it!
This is a super fun game! It has the potential to provide the first half hour of fun on your cross country trip.
Share your experiences with me if you can name names! Tell me if “Pistachio” is the best word to morph with.
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for mutations of the game “The Pistachio Game” or discoveries of names added to Pistachio that result in curse words.