Right after Thanksgiving there’s a little portion of the year I like to call “Chaos is Everywhere”. After January 1st I will breathe easy knowing that, once again, there are special times of the week where I can go shopping for groceries, puchase clothing, browse books, have lunch and mail parcel and there will be under 20 people in these places at one time. But for now, these times do not exist. I have it easy being a stay at home mom, so my heart goes out to those who have to use lunch time, take days off, or EVEN WORSE, go out on the weekend. It is a MADHOUSE! I went to my local superstore this weekend and noticed that part of my stress of going out there begins with the simple task of making it through the parking lot without hurting anyone. And once I park my car, the roles are switched and I’m playing frogger for my life!
My coping mechanism in life is humor, so I found that I was less anxious to hurry up if I just observed the people around me trying to survive in the same jungle as me. I found that we all have different ways of communicating with eachother in the parking lot. So tell me, what kind of parking lot crosswalker are you?
The Confident Pedestrian – This is the person who walks from store to lot or lot to store without ever looking at the oncoming cars and soley relying on the right of way. No matter if they get hit, they know it will be your fault and so be it.
The Glancer – With one foot already in the cross walk, this fella will make eye contact with you and before you know it, he’s gone.
The Two Stepper – Wait for it… Now GO! No STOP! No WAIT! okay GO! STOP! This person is either too sweet to make you stop or too fearful to go. Either way, you get caught up in the “you go, no you go, no you go” situation and when you’re both out of breath, you shut your car off right there and finally let this person cross.
The Easter Island – This person refuses to ever cross in front of an oncoming car. Their stone face and refusal to move or look at you let’s you know your good deed is not welcome here. Although it’s an awkward situation to come across, it can also be considered a courteous gesture. So, don’t take it personal.
The Theme Park Crosser – This is the person who has been in the store for hours. When they exit the store they have no recollection of where the car is parked or if they even came out the right door. If you let them cross, they will. However, they will zig zag in front of you on their tippie toes. For some reason they pause in front of you with that ‘hmmm’ look on their face, then the ‘ummm’ look, and finally the ‘oh yeah!” look. And then they finish crossing.
The Crossing Guard – I love this one. There’s always a kind soul out there who finds it necessary to hold their hand out to the driver while the rest of the family makes their way across the crosswalk. This person is usually between the ages of 5 and 10 and they are cute as a button.
Now, tell me, what kind of parking lot motorist are you?
The Giver – For people who hold doors open for others, this is referred to as ‘The Doorstop’. These are the people who generously let one person go and while that person is walking another person approaches. The motorist then gives that new person the ‘you too’ wave. The Giver is often the most patient of motorists. He/She wants to be fair to all people who approach the crosswalk while it is still occupied. This could go on forever. But the Giver has all day.
The Creeper – This is a version of the Giver that, in most cases, does NOT have all day. After letting the flood gates open, The Creeper must then find an opening to inch into letting the first half of the crosswalkers continue but let the second half of the crosswalkers know that they have missed the generosity train. This can be awkward if you have to stop mid-crosswalk and end up with the denied crossers staring into your side window.
The Taker – Crosswalkers sometimes take their time approaching the crosswalk and The Taker notices this immediately and takes the right of way, never to look back.
The Shy Yet Courteous – This motorist wants to let people go and won’t take no for an answer. However, they are too shy to make eye contact let alone tell people what to do. So this motorist pretends they are preoccupied with their purse, radio, children in the backseat until the crosswalker takes advantage and crosses.
The Enforcer – The Enforcer not only wants you to cross, The Enforcer MAKES you cross. They stare you dead in the eye and wave you across to the point where you feel they could literally pick you up from one side and place you on the other with their mind.
As always, share your thoughts.
I know there’s more. YOU know there’s more.