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Show Your Shtuff

04 Dec

Just admit it. If children are your life, you’ll notice there’s something that’s different about you… And it’s your purse.

Call it what you want:

Bag

Satchel

Handbag

Diaper Bag

Backpack

Survival Kit

Duffel Bag

Ladies, for this study, I will call it a purse. It’s that thing you never leave home without if you want to make it through a day with your kid(s).

If you have children that you spend a lot of time with on a regular basis, you may have a case of the exploding purse. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your purse has met maximum capacity. But it may mean that when you go to grab your wallet, a slew of unexplained items may try to jump free of the chaos that is YOUR PURSE.

Of course, I bring this up because of my own personal experiences. Nothing makes the grocery clerk’s day more than when I pull out my wallet and a Nerf bullet and an army dude missing both legs falls across her conveyor belt. My purse may be excessively messy at this point and maybe others out there have purses that could be considered “organized chaos”. But if you continue reading this, you probably will start thinking about all the things that have accumulated since the last time you cleaned out your purse. Things you have packed in there by necessity, treasures you have been asked to hold on to by kid(s), or even just all the things that keep your life, with children, rolling. I’m not here to talk about messy though. I’m addressing the contents of your purse.

If I go out on a date with my husband, I transfer my necessities to a smaller purse, one that I can daintily carry in my hand. And everything I need, when my children are not in tow, actually fits in this little bitty purse. We’re talking: Driver’s License, Bank Card, Compact, Lipstick, and Cell Phone.

But when I wake up the next morning and get back to reality, I put everything back in my mommy purse, which is four times bigger than my “date purse”. I literally grunt when I throw it over my shoulder. The list could go on forever so, instead, I present it to you as a visual. Sometimes my purse is more exciting than this, but I wanted to be honest so, I promise you, this is EXACTLY what was in my purse on this day 12/03/2011 at 5:27 p.m.

Now let’s talk about some of the contents a bit.

  • If you know me, you know why I have THREE —> pens.
  • That little bike tire cap has been in my purse forever. Perhaps someday I will come to the rescue of a rapidly deflating bike tire. *shrug*
  • I have a couple grocery store club cards because I like to change things up on grocery day once in a while.
  • There’s plenty of coupons for those days we decide we just don’t want to cook that one meal we’ll never eat.
  • Can you see my emergency toothpick? I know… Yuck.
  • We just rented two movies. A family one and a grown up one.
  • I’ve got the usual wallet, check book, a couple “necessities” (which I’m glad weren’t SUPER for this picture).
  • I hope I never get pulled over by the Lego police because I’m sure it’s illegal to carry that little Lego shank around in my purse.

Damn, this mess looks like a picture out of an I Spy book.

Now, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to literally dump the contents of your purse out on the floor (like I did) and share a photo or two (like I did). I want to see what unusual child and/or motherhood-generated items you have in your purse. You can spread the contents out so they are easier to see but PLEASE DO NOT stage your photo. Don’t add anything that wasn’t there before. But do feel free to eliminate lady items and be sure to flip over anything that contains personal information otherwise I won’t use it in my results post. Other than that, show your shtuff. Email your photo to me at marthaaafish@gmail.com. Be sure to include a first name (doesn’t have to be your real name, you can call yourself Peaches if you want) and the ages of all your children. Okay, now I’m gonna go wash my purse while it’s empty…

Love,

Marthaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

P.S. I would never assume only women have this problem. The point is that the contents of your life are different now that you have kids in it. If you have a wallet, briefcase, gym bag, or European carry-all that is child-modified, please share those as well.

Also, I have no reason to keep your email address nor contact you unless you ask me a question. So don’t worry. If you start getting unusual junk mail, blame someone else. It wasn’t me!

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